Persons of Interest

May is my favorite month.  Among other reasons, it’s usually the perfect combo of spring leaking into summer, which means T-shirts and jeans, warm breezes, and longer days.  At least, that’s what it means in Pennsylvania.  Here in Indonesia, the weather is pretty much the same as it was last month.  And three months ago.  And pretty close to six months ago.  Oh well.  The point is that May is my ninth month in Semarang.  I’m on the last quarter of my year here.  I’m not going to lie, while I still have a bunch of cool plans for the next three months, I’m pretty excited to be able to see my flight home getting closer on the calendar. 

I’ve covered a bunch of topics over the last nine months.  There are some things you simply must talk about when you want to describe a country.  The last of these seems like it should be the most obvious: the people.  After all, living anywhere can be pretty bland without other humans around.  Just ask WALL-E.  Or Will Smith in that one zombie apocalypse movie.  I mean yeah, he had his dog but...anyway. So in this post, I want to try to paint a bit of a picture of the individuals I’ve met and with whom I’ve spent so much time recently. 

As I’ve lived and talked and eaten with Indonesians, I can’t help but notice various behaviors that differ from those I’m used to in Western culture.  I’ve seen these behaviors frequently enough to know that they’re not just the particular quirk of one or two persons, nor are they a variation of a certain actions portrayed by folks in the West.  As far as I know, these are definite differences, and can set the scene for some interesting interactions.

For starters, Indonesians can be very friendly.  Like, extremely friendly.  To the point where they will go out of their way to say hi.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been walking through a public place, and I’ve had “Hallo Mister!” called at me from somewhere.  I’ve had people start conversations with me on the bus, or in the mall.  Sometimes it’s just because they want to practice their English, but they’re still brave enough to start a conversation, which is more than I can do.  I once had a student strike up a conversation at the bus stop, and since we happened to live in the same neighborhood, the conversation continued up to my very street.  That’s pretty courageous.

Now, the obvious question is, am I sure people are legitimately friendly?  It’s not just because I’m white?  That is a legitimate question.  Foreigners are a novelty here.  It’s pretty unusual to see one, especially in Semarang, which is not a huge tourist attraction.  So, when Indonesians themselves go touring, I become part of the attraction.  It’s not exactly my favorite thing in the world.  I stopped consenting to having my picture taken with other tourists many months ago when I realized I wasn’t the reason for the picture, but my skin and my height and my nose were. So again, that begs the question, are people actually being outgoing and friendly when they say hi and start conversations, or do they just feel special talking to a white person?  I like to think it’s a bit of both.  Perhaps sometimes it’s one more than the other.  A picture or a brief greeting is a momentary thing, it takes ten seconds, and then you have your bragging rights.  But even a few questions – “Where are you from, why are you here, how long have you been here?”—these are signs of friendliness and curiosity.  And I definitely know you probably won’t get even that from most places in America. 

Now, many times it goes further than the questions.  A very common form of offering friendship is an invitation to one’s house.  This happens all the time.  I’ll have been speaking with someone for five or ten minutes and they invite me to visit them in their home.  So, naturally, I have begun to do the same thing.  (This means there might be a slight chance of an Indonesian I met once showing up at my door to say hi.)  But the point is that this is another big difference.  To most Americans, if I met someone on the bus or at a bar, and I say, “Hey, you should come visit my home and meet my grandmother and parents and sisters and cats!” the other person might appreciate the gesture, but might also wonder what sort of person  invites a complete stranger into their home after a ten minute conversation?  But Indonesians don’t see it that way.  It’s a perfectly natural offer.  In fact, most households have a sitting room in the entrance especially for entertaining guests.  The table is often stocked with water and snacks, and folks will often just hang out there for a while.  Actually, odds are good that there will be more than enough snacks for the evening.  Indonesians love their food, and they love serving their food to whoever is around.  Which brings me to my third point...

Hospitality.  Indonesians are extremely eager to be hospitable.  Sometimes too eager.  If you read my post from last month, you’ll recall that my various hosts have been very eager to have me rest before or after any activity.  Well, the same goes for food and drink.  There’s a common stereotype for Italians (particularly Italian grandmothers) that depicts an everlasting pile of food being offered to you, and it won’t stop.  Well, Indonesians are the same way.  You will always be offered something else to eat, and something else to drink.  I’ve been out with a friend for dinner, and then we’ve gone back to his house where his mother has been cooking and the question is inevitable: “Do you want to eat again?”  Once, I stayed over at a friend's house, and I wasn’t feeling well the next morning so I declined breakfast.  However,  the friend was so convinced that I needed to eat that he offered me breakfast three more times after I said I wasn’t feeling well.  Can it get a little annoying? Sure.  Is it all out of care for one's guest and the wish to make them feel welcome?  Definitely.  So I've learned not to begrudge anyone for it too much.  I've also become quite skilled at smiling and declining.  There's an art to it.

Honestly, I could go on and on about various differences in behavior, but I've come to realize that these posts are sometimes absurdly long, so I'll call it here.  Over the last nine months, I hope I've been able to clearly portray Indonesia with its customs and traditions, its weather, its cities, and its people, because from here on out, I'm on the home stretch.  My last two posts will be all about reflection, so be sure to get your Mulan soundtrack ready.

...get it?  Cause the famous song is Reflection? Never mind, it's not funny if I have to explain it.  Anyway, Enjoy the rest of your merry month of May!