If you've known me for any amount of time over a week, you probably know I'm a runner. Running is my preferred form of exercise, and I'd like to think I'm fairly decent at it. So, naturally, I brought my running shoes with me to Indonesia. I hope you don't mind if I indulge in a bit more of a personal topic for this post, but I think you'll find that it does make for a rather singular story.
I've always enjoyed at least attempting to keep in shape, so I intended to do the same this year. I'd run through and around cities before, why should this be any different?
Well, let me tell you, I wasn't sure what to expect, but it's entirely possible I bit off a little more than I can chew. I'm accustomed to running along Kelly Drive, in Philadelphia, and on the River Trail, in Austin, TX. Nice, paved paths of a somewhat circular shape, where one can mingle, sweat, suffer, and train with other runners, bikers, walkers, and the occasional tightrope act (thanks for that, Austin). Semarang is...a bit different.
I can't necessarily speak for the whole of Indonesia, but Semarang is not a runners' city. In the time I've been here (4 months!), I've seen maybe a dozen persons out running, besides myself. And I understand why. It's not easy to run around here. Now, you might know that I've done a few obstacle races, mainly Tough Mudders. Well, more than once, it's crossed my mind that just running through the streets of Semarang presents a variety of, ah, encumbrances, many of which are fairly reminiscent of a mild obstacle race. I'm of the opinion that if someone wanted to create a low budget race, they could easily have their participants take to the streets around here, and their job would be practically finished. In fact, I've taken the liberty of creating a rough draft for an advertisement for one such race. I'm calling it "Tricky Trek: Semarang". Enjoy!
*Infomercial voice narration*
Are popular obstacle races too extreme for you? Or maybe they're getting boring, and you want a change of scenery? Have no fear, the solution is here! The newest race-maker on the scene, Tricky Trek Running, presents Tricky Trek: Semarang! It's new, it's daring, and it'll make you sweat! What more can you ask? Here are some highlights of Tricky Trek: Semarang that we know you'll fly all the way to Indonesia just to endure!
You want obstacles? You'll get obstacles. And not those fancy, sophisticated towers that you have to jump off or climb over or some such nonsense that makes you feel like a superhero. No, we've got all-natural, earthly obstacles for you. For one thing, we're right on the equator! You think it gets cool enough here for a decent running climate? Think again! It's hot here, all day and all night, no matter when you run. You'll love having to push yourself just a little bit harder because the heat makes that extra push extra necessary. And we haven't even mentioned the best part yet: the humidity! We guarantee (or your money back) that all your clothes will be completely soaked with sweat before you're halfway through the course, and you will have solid proof that your body's cooling system is functioning perfectly... until of course you run out of sweat. But hey, dehydration is part of the fun, right? You bet!
(Side note: I've never gotten sweat in my eyes until I ran in this heat. That's how much I sweat. And it takes forever for my body to reach equilibrium again. Even after I shower and drink a ton of water, I still look like I just jumped in a pool, because my body is then recovering from dehydration. I feel like the character Moist from Dr. Horrible.
[Side-side note: If you haven't seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, do yourself a favor. It's on YouTube, it's 45 minutes, and it's probably the most entertaining and cathartic short movie you've seen in a while.] But I digress.)
But get this, not only will we provide an abundance of heat and humidity, but we'll throw in another natural obstacle: the very air itself! That's right! We know some other courses use some obstacle where you have to deal with breathing in smoke, or some form of gas. We can top that easily. Semarang has a constant cloud of smog hanging just below the clouds. Add to that some vehicle exhaust fumes, smoke from burning rubbish piles, and cigarette smoke from folks along the way, and you've got a recipe for one heck of a challenge for your lungs! Just trust us, you'll feel even more triumphant at the finish line when you think about what you've put your body through.
But it doesn't stop there. There are physical obstacles too, or we couldn't rightly call ourself an obstacle race. Now, we can't be bothered with filling pits with mud, or building awesome monkey bars or rope courses, but we don't need to! The course itself holds plenty of challenges already built in. For instance, we don't want you getting lost in the many unmarked streets of Semarang, so we'll make it nice and easy for you, a nice straight shot down a major road. Plenty of cars and motorbikes will be zipping past you, so you'll have to be extra careful running in the road. You could, of course, run on the sidewalks; there you can test your nimbleness, jumping over gaping holes in the cement that drop into the sewer below, dodging piles of building materials that someone may or may not get to in a week or two, and especially ducking around pedestrians who are certainly not used to runners on the sidewalk, and will take up the entire space, no exceptions!
Now, before we elaborate further on the excitement that awaits you on the sidewalk, we should make one thing clear. When we say sidewalk, we only mean it's a space next to the road where the possibility of walking exists. There are 2 types of sidewalks in Semarang: in the downtown area, they are about a foot high (30 cm) and frequently lined with flower boxes on the side next to the road. These provide a great opportunity for some parkour-like stunts should there be a pedestrian or some other obstacle in your way, and you need to get around. These "other obstacles" might include trees planted in the middle of the walk, electrical systems, and their necessary protection poles, or maybe a car pulled all the way up so that it's out of the road, but not quite inside the gate of whatever building the driveway belongs. However, there are places where the walk is nice and wide, and several people should easily be able to walk abreast. Right? Nope! The city doesn't want motorcycles jumping up there and skipping all the traffic, so these areas have stanchions and chains stretching across the entire walk, leaving you only a small space to fit through, unless you want to jump the chains. It'll give you a great chance to show your adaptability, while looking pretty cool the whole time; talk about a great photo opp!
The other kind of sidewalk would not be considered as such per say by most Westerners, which adds to the exotic appeal of our course. These are the spaces next to the road in other parts of the city besides the downtown area; they do act as walkways, but also as driveways, shoulders, parking lots, and prime real estate for the plenitude of food vendors that set up their carts and/or tents along the side of the road every morning. These side spaces are not cement, but dirt and rocks. We may not have mountains for you to run up, or streams to wade through, but boy do we have some great dirt and rocks, perfect for testing the strength of your ankles should you step the wrong way! All of these obstacles - the motorbikes and cars, the food sellers, and the unevenness in the terrain - provide an added mental challenge where you'll have to calculate if there's a way around it, over it, or through it, or if you should just step into the road and pronounce yourself a vehicle! We recommend this latter choice more than the sidewalk, as it is the most straightforward, if perhaps a bit dangerous. You'll have to master the technique of merging from the sidewalk into the street, which, surprisingly, may take a bit of practice! However, once you do, you'll be able to jump in and out of the busy traffic with ease, putting yourself miles ahead of the competition!
We'd like to highlight one more excellent proof of the epic challenge that awaits you here at Tricky Trek: Semarang: the essence of the race itself. Not only will you compete against other humans (and the occasional chicken on the sidewalk), but you'll compete against the very forces of nature! Daylight lasts from 5:50 am to 5:50 pm here, and not a second longer! If you sign up now, you'll have your choice of starting time: If you choose morning, you'll have all the light you want, but you'll only have so long until the traffic gets heavy. This means more cars to avoid, more exhaust fumes in the air, more vendors on the sidewalk, and the heat of the morning sun. However, should you choose to race in the evening, no more direct sunlight! Unfortunately, this also means the sun is setting, and you'll have to finish before darkness sets in. We at Tricky Treks strongly discourage running the course after nightfall, but hey, it's your challenge!
So come on down to Semarang! It won't be your typical run in the park, but it'll be one you'll never forget!
Right, well, that would be my promotion. You think it's enough? I could talk more about how there are no cross walks, and you have to just wait for a break in traffic to weave in and out to the other side. Or I could mention that there are areas which don't even have a semblance of a sidewalk, you simply must run in the road. You think that would scare people away? Probably not, I'd say I have a pretty strong argument here. I bet this place would be crawling with runners in no time if someone used this proposal.
Now, I don't mean to imply there are no runners in Indonesia. Runners are everywhere. Runners are weird. They'll run in any conditions, and any circumstances, and I'm proud to consider myself among their number. In fact, I've run two races here, which I've never actually done in the US. I've run one 5k and one half-marathon. The 5k taught me that there are indeed courses suitable for running outside the city...on the side of a mountain. I totally botched that race, for several reasons, but one of which was that I had trained only on flat terrain, and the top runners were obviously used to running up and down a mountain. I would love to see their training ground. My half-marathon was on more or less flat terrain, and I learned several lessons there too. First, there are certainly fast Indonesians, both male and female. They gave me a run for my money, though I'd like to think I did the same. Secondly, I learned a little something about myself, but I'm not going to wax philosophical on you. Something about pushing my mental limits and having /beating self-made standards. The point is that running in Indonesia has thrown some unexpected challenges at me, and I've had to take it and deal with it as it comes: a lesson I've had to learn in the past, but which comes in different forms, and is rather useful to relearn.
Anyway, let it not be said that I came to Indonesia and left unimproved! Regardless of whether or not I return in the same shape as when I left, the experience is worth it, and it makes a great story. (And yes, I do question the fate of my physical shape, because no matter how much I run, it's hard to compete with a steady diet of rice and fried food. But hey, that's Indonesia!)
Sempai Jumpa!
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
